In a seismic move that will reverbrate through the rest of the sports world. UFC president Dana White has replaced the traditional media that covers the UFC events with Tesla Bots. This moves comes after Mr. White’s displeasure over the years with journalist who’ve covered the sport.

The UFC event this past Saturday marked the first time robots have asked questions in any sporting capacity. In general everything went smoothly, except for the two robots in the back who kept asking the same question over and over again, “When will Conor McGregor fight again?” Elon Musk was asked if this was a glitch? he said, “I don’t think so, we just programmed them to ask questions that were popular over the last 10 years. I guess that one was pretty common.”

The night took a strange turn as a streaking fan ran across the room where the post fight press conference was being held. He could be heard yelling, “When is Tom Aspinall and Jon Jones fighting?!” Dana yelled back at the streaker, “Jon Jones doesn’t want to fight Francis Ngannou! He scared of him!”

The night ended well though for Mr. White as the last question he fielded by a Tesla bot was on the importance of free speech in our nation. For some reason the lights dimmed and a spotlight shined on Dana as he got up from his chair and put his hand over his heart and said, “Free speech is really important to me. It’s important for us to able to say what we want to say without being persecuted or fired. It’s our right as Americans.” When the Tesla Bot pressed him about his dealings with the media in the past, Dana had the bot removed.

Addendum:

We wanted to be fair in this article to the MMA media who currently cover the sport. We asked if they had any comment on Dana White replacing them with Tesla Bots? They said simply, but passionately, “When will Conor McGregor fight again?”

-La Mancha MMA